BOOBS, BAR MITZVAHS AND WHY I DIDNT WRITE THE BLOG I WAS SUPPOSED TO TODAY
I am sitting at my desk, in my underwear, covered in self-tanner, not writing the blog I was supposed to write today. Now if that is TMI for anyone, you can log off now and go to The Happiness Project.
You see today I was going to do part two to my Happiness Project blog and I was going to do it in a café on 11th Street while Lucy was in acting class.
But life, real happiness and my boobs got in the way.
I dropped Lucy off at acting; I was heading to the café with my Sony Vaio to spend an hour and half looking like everyone else in the café drinking coffee and typing away. But as I walked away from her school I realized I didn’t have the right bra for the dress I was wearing to the Kesseler’s Bar Mitzvah tonight.
I wore the dress once before to The Real Housewives of New York premiere party and I wore it without a bra. When I looked at the pictures I regretted it.
I am at the age where you really can’t wear a dress without a bra. In fact I’m at the age where I really shoudln’t wear a bra without a bra.
I had no choice I had to run to the nearest lingerie store and pick one up.
The nearest lingerie store happened to be La Perla. I really didn’t want to spend La Perla dollars but I wanted to get it done and get writing. I was hoping they had a sale as they usually do, since most people don’t like to spend La Perla dollars.
It wouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes. I would get the low backed bra and be in a café and doing my blog by one- thirty which would be plenty of time to finish and pick up Lucy.
But then you know – life and happiness got in the way of my writing a blog about what makes me happy.
I started walking in the village. Now Gretchen Rubin says take a ten minute walk to get happy. If you’re going to walk the Village on warm spring day is as good a place as any. I was happy….
See the thing with La Perla is they really didn’t have exactly what I wanted. They had a version; but it would require me to go home and cut pieces off of it and hopefully the little top part wouldn’t stick out. The girl suggested I go to Ricky’s and get pasties. They always tell you that with tight dresses. But I have a hard time with pasties. Once I wore them and one fell off and onto the floor. Try explaining that. Plus I feel like a hooker, which is OK, I don’t mind feeling like a hooker under the right circumstances; but the Kessler’s Bar Mitzvah is not the right circumstance. Plus Ricky’s was six blocks away. I bought the maybe bra as it was forty percent off and hoped for the best.
Now the problem with La Perla is it is next door to Jeffrey’s where my friend Charles works.
The honest truth is this (Barbara Landreth I swear) I had no intention of buying anything. I really went in to see Charles. I had a credit, but I needed to get to a cafe and write my happiness blog. Though seeing Charles always makes me happy. He is that kind of guy.
So we hugged and chatted and I told him the Dr. Phil outfit would be worn but on another show on another station. I told him about the Kessler’s Bar Mitzvah. We looked at stuff cause come on that is what you do at Jeffrey’s. But we agreed that my gray Herve was perfect and he knows what I have and he said I didn’t need anything, plus I told him I needed to go blog. And this is the genius of Charles he then dangled a little Lanvin number in front of me.
I said “Charles I’m not spending Lanvin money, I can’t really. That dress must be a fortune. Even with my credit.” He showed me the price. I almost passed out. Impossible. It was hand beaded, it was Lanvin spring collection, it was the only a hundred dollars more than my not so big credit. It was clearly mismarked. Charles raised an eyebrow said and said nothing.
Now this is not the first time I have wandered into Jeffrey’s and found something mismarked. When I was pregnant with Lucy I found a Helmut Lang coat for four hundred dollars that was supposed to be $2000. The thing is once they are marked they are marked. They can’t take it back. They can take it downstairs and remark it but once you have your grubby little paws on it, they have to sell it to you for what it says.
There is clearly some guy in the basement marking stuff who is sometimes off his game or smoking some serious Maui wowie.
Before I could say no – I was following Charles into the dressing room – I wasn’t writing my happiness blog, but boy was I happy.
Now it’s a shallow happy I admit, but find me a woman who can buy a dress that is a quarter or less than it’s supposed to be who does not end up happy, at least for a few hours. Find me one. I will devote an entire week of blogs to her. I will even give her my new Lanvin dress.
Of course I got it. It was a hundred dollars more than my credit. It should have been five times what it was marked.
I was happy. But I was out of time in terms of blogging. I did have time to get the self-tanner which always makes me nervous and stripy looking. I have never mastered it. But this nice guy called Tim told me exactly what to do, which is why I have to blog while it’s taking effect.
I left Jeffrey’s happy as can be – though blogless, I had twenty minutes to spare.
You can’t see the dress until the tan settles. It won’t look the same without it. Plus I have to go get ready for the Kessler’s Bar Mitzvah and we have to drive to New Jersey.
But I will blog about that tomorrow and will get to the happiness blog on Monday. But better to have a happy day than sit in a cafe alone and write about one.