That is what Kevin Kline says, in a way that only he can, in one of my favorite films of all time, A Fish Called Wanda. He opens the safe expecting to see all the loot he stole and it’s empty and he bellows “Disappointed!” It’s a great moment in a great film.
That is all I am today, and not even that much. Despite the fact Taylor offered to do it (she’s blogging tomorrow) I have to do my own dirty work here and I can’t ignore it as people are setting their DVRs: we are not on Dr. Phil on Monday.
We were bumped. Why? I think just because. Just because it’s Hollywood and they change their mind every twenty-two seconds. Just because he decided to do another topic and he’s out of shows for the season. And I think just because, and I said this all along, we were never the story “they” were making us out to be. I’m not sure that Dr. Phil’s producers knew that and perhaps they didn’t care, but that is my personal feeling.
But the few people I told yesterday are so sweet and they’ve been treating me like someone died.
This is the thing – I have been working in the film and TV business for over twenty years. There is not a type of let down I have not gone through.
One could say it’s cynical but actually it’s survival and practical. It’s an industry where if you walk in expecting to be anything other than disappointed, stepped on and often times just abused, you’re crazy. Dr. Phil didn’t abuse us, or even step on us, he didn’t destroy a script I spent two years writing, he wasn’t my best friend and fired me (yes that has happened to me). He didn’t promise me a producer credit and take it away. He didn’t humiliate me.
He didn’t do anything like I’m used to – they run the show and they changed their minds. Compared to what I’ve been through out there – this is nothing.
I think it might be more upsetting for Tay, but I also think she is sick of the press. So she’s fine with it too. And she’s the one who counts.
You have to look at every situation you enter in show business like this: At its best it’s a great one night stand where the guy takes you to Palm Springs for the weekend and then never calls you again. At its worst it’s sex with someone who doesn’t know your last name, in their office, while they are on the phone closing a deal. Either way, you get screwed – it’s just a question of how.
And it doesn’t matter who you are. I have really famous friends, with giant careers who have the rug pulled out from under them all the time. People you would fall over if you knew what they’ve been through and continue to go through. It’s one of the reasons I don’t like show business. I got really tired of it. I pretty much walked away.
So getting bumped from Dr. Phil, OK…. disappointed. But actually not as much as Richard and Glenn seem to be. Their mutual inner Cuba Gooding Jr. “Show Me The Money!” seems to be affected.
It would have been fun. It was fun to talk about. I’m not sure what would have happened once we got in front of a live audience – given our subject matter and given his demographic. I honestly hadn’t thought that much about it.
I didn’t expect to get much more out of it then a bump in DVD sales and more traffic on my site. I was going in with a nice outfit and few expectations. It was an honor I think to be chosen though I’m still not sure what we were going to do. I’m not sure they were either, which is perhaps why the segment got changed.
Two weeks ago we were the mother/daughter story of the moment, for a moment. And I kept telling this to Tay, it’s going to go away as fast as it came.
She was worried she would be branded this bratty kid forever when in fact since we made the film she has turned into a lovely young woman.
I said it’s all ephemeral – it blew in on a cloud and it will go out just as fast. In three weeks no one will know who we are. I have been doing this so long I knew it to be true.
First off, all the press was based on a sound bite that was not and is not the film. Sound bites are just that bites, they don’t have legs. The sound bite got picked up and we went along with it. It’s why I knew when sitting in Venice I had to get back and get on GMA and FOX before it was over.
I knew (after I got over the horror) of seeing Taylor’s image up there with The Kardashians, god help us, that this was not going to hang around and in that form I didn’t want it to. Because at that point what they were selling was all made up. And the film is anything but.
It’s why I refused The Enquirer and Access Hollywood.
It’s why despite both Richard and Glenn wanting me to, I do not want to write a fictional version of the film based on the film. That is being bandied about. That seems tawdry to me and it seems exploitive and it seems like too much.
The film is done. It exists, it will continue to exist and people who want it can buy it and watch it.
We are hoping to get distribution for the doc, but a movie of the week based on our family? We aren’t that interesting and I’m not willing to add the drama that doesn’t exist. There has been enough drama surrounding this, even for me. And as Lynnda so aptly said yesterday, I am “dramatic,” but even I reach a saturation point.
The good news is Taylor is coming in today for the weekend anyway. In two weeks she comes back for the summer.
She grew so much and learned so much from the week we did all the other press. It gives her a great base to make decisions about what she wants and doesn’t want in a career. It also taught her she had skill set she was totally unaware of.
I’m a big believer in grabbing every brass ring that passes by, and holding on as long as you can. There are not that many in life and when they come you grab and you fly – you’re a fool if you don’t. But when the ride is up, the ride is up. It’s a cliche, but you only live once so you have to take advantage of what comes your way.
And I’m the biggest believer in having a lot of irons in a lot of fires. That is the grand lesson that all these years have taught me. It’s why most good producers have forty things in development, they know if they are really lucky two might pan out.
So once I finish this blog, I am going off to have lunch with my press agent Sandi Mendolson to discuss the media blitz for my now nameless book. My editor just emailed to discuss the title; we have to get moving on that. And now that I don’t have to go to LA next week I can start my edit, which I really need to do.
I love my book and I miss working on it.
I love Lucky Ducks too and heaven knows it’s done more than I ever thought it would a month ago. It’s been beyond fun and it’s not over, just winding down. My interview with Annie Pleshette Murphy is going up on the ABC website today and I’m really happy about that as she is a deeply admired figure in the parenting world.
I heard about a great lead for another job yesterday I am going to look into as it’s totally new and something I would love to do in my lifetime.
So you know what – I now take back my title. I’m not disappointed, I’m content!